30 Jan 2024

 [ Without fail, I helped teachers carry books, I helped my friends with their homework, I talked nicely and thought of nice things to do.

Everyday without fail, teachers pass by me and ask for help, my friends would tease me and strangers would try to offer me something to buy.

***

I live in a different world from yours, kindness begets greediness.

"Hana, why didn't you carry those books over here?"

"I broke my arm"

"You should have told me earlier, I was expecting you to come in with those books"

***

Even when I'm sick, I'm expected to work as hard as I normally do if not even harder.

I'm really tired of these acts.

***

"What do you mean I should pay?"

"Well you are obviously copying my essays in broad daylight for all to see."

"You're supposed to be my tutor."

"I never said I wanted to be your tutor."

"... and I never said I wanted to do homework."

"I'm not your mom, I never told you to do anything."

"... and I'm not your student, I'm a friend.."

***

"You're not using it, so it's natural that I use it."

The point is, she didn't ask for permission. She even went around to tell people I couldn't do a single thing and was relying on her.

Truth is, she deleted my design, and handed her design with my laptop. I never got the chance to show mine. Even during practice I was not given a chance to help.

"You're just going to make it worse. Your designs aren't even approved by the teacher because it's too ugly look at."

***

"The girl is beyond hope, she just waits around for people to help her"

"You misunderstood my daughter, she was actually letting people do their tasks first. Only at the last minute then she'll wrap things up and help to fix any inconsistencies."

***

People began to be more gentle with me...

Unfortunately, it's such a shame I think that no one deserves kindness...

Or perhaps,

Kindness is just an illusion...

***

Salvation will finally arrive when this world faces judgement day. ]

24 Jan 2024

 

"Thank you all for attending this ceremony. She was the shining light who guided me in my darkest journey throughout achieving my goal in this profession. My student whom I learned the most from, my teacher whom I studied the most with. I would like to say these final parting words, my fondest gratitude and warmest love has realized its potential after meeting you. Goodbye Farhana, I will keep your memory alive by spreading your words to all, for it's time to feel, read and share the world through your lenses."

I walked out of funeral after saying my final goodbyes and exchanging condolences with the attendees. Just a few days back, I left everything that I had ever known behind me. My greatest regret was not what I had left, although I will never return to the comfort and warmth that Oxford has provided, but I regret that I was too late to realize that I was solely thinking of living for myself.

Miss Farhana was a dear student of mine, whom I regarded as one of my mentors. Her words of wisdom stretched beyond present thoughts, no matter how often you would think about it, her words were always malleable and frequently decorate most situations you would encounter in your routine.

I was just finishing my classes in Oxford when a student sent me the news. My birth country experienced it's largest and most devastating mass murder during a royal ceremony to commence the rulership of a new Sultan. Among the victims, I saw her name. Ending the life that I had long wished for and had lived in for the past four years, I settled back into my State and decided to start my life anew.

I learned of the events that followed through the mass murder, the new king immediately rose to power, toppling the previous traditional lineage which our local forefathers cherished and sought to establish as our identity. The new Female King of Malaysia established her royal dynasty by declaring her governance and administers. Jiang Jia Yuen proclaimed this dynasty the Jiang Dynasty in Malaysia, all her governance shall bear their titles with the Jiang surname.

One of my closest friends, a philosopher, has been appointed 'High Priestess Jiang' the title of the pagan religion that Her Royal Majesty Jiang declared as a national priority.

Her Royal Majesty Jiang's actions sends shockwaves not just throughout the Nation but also affected the balance of global stability. Particularly when Her Royal Majesty prioritized the pagan religions and brought back ancient practices, the majority of Malaysia's Muslim citizens began to riot, and its tremors are felt throughout the world.

23 Jan 2024

 "News just in. The military declared over 5 million stateless dead, bringing the total national death toll to 9 million individuals as the 10 day shooting siege continues.

Her Royal Majesty awarded the governors cash and kinds for their relentless pursuit to eradicate the hidden black market and crime hotspots.

Sabrina, our journalist, reporting onsite."

***

"I am here at the National Palace, where military tanks surround the bodies of those killed in the siege. The Chief Militant of the JAP announced that those acquainted with underground trading and contracting will not be let off with ease.

Justice Action Parole will continue to take down any individual suspected to be involved in the trade.

Clashes and riots occur in the streets between locals boycotting the royal decree and Ms Jiang fanatics of the self-declared 'Female King'. Some herald to the mass genocide as justice for those whose plea was ignored by the previous government and political rulers. National civil society organisations described this incident as a horrendous blood bath far worse than any wars held in our territories.

'I believe that this Jiang lady is deaf and blind to the screams of blue murder. She is a nobody who suddenly arose and claimed to be the new Female King, slaughtering everybody who she sees fit.' - May Ping, Red Cross Society

As I walk through the streets flooded with red and black, the smell of death forces citizens into a voluntary lockdown, with hope that the siege ends anytime soon.

I'm Sabrina, reporting live from the National Palace, back to the studio."

 

We meet so many people throughout our waking moments. Some of them seemed familiar beyond reasoning; no matter how hard we try to understand, no exact explanation could conclude why we are drawn to them. If reincarnation exists, are we all chained with the people we encountered in our past lives?

'In the next life, I will find you, time and again. I will never let you go... '

(Original work ©2015. Plagiarism will not be tolerated)

July 18th, 2019

A butterfly with broken wings,

Blaming herself for everything;

Trying to find out what her future brings,

But she can't let go of what she cling.

Despair and pure darkness,

Surrounded the butterfly;

She sees his eyes that shine with radiance,

She tries to be a fighter although she always cry.

15 Jan 2024

 Where’s Mo? – Part 1

“Hello class, did you have a good holiday? Well, guess what? We have to start polishing your English proficiency so that your school teachers and parents see the results of your efforts in this extra class.”

“Now, before we begin, let’s have a quick chat about your experiences over the break, shall we start with Elly?”

***

“Well done class, now that’s about all, let’s see from the list if we’re missing anyone…”

“Miss Farhana, Mo is not here”

Indeed, he isn’t here and any further enquiries as of his whereabouts are futile. Although I carried on with the tuition lessons, I still can’t stop feeding imaginations into my subconscious mind, was he really sick or did anything else happened? Mo was the most enthusiastic of the bunch, he’d surely tell his friends or at least the tuition center if he is under the weather and will be taking some time off…

“No miss, we did not receive any information about Mo. I tried calling his parents but the line was cut off.”

“It wouldn’t break privacy rule if I can get his address or at least the school that he goes to?”

***

The sea of bright light darted through my windshield as I drove to Mo’s school. It’s nearly 11 am and everyone seemed that it’d be a good time to head out. As I made a left turn and passed by two green lights, Mo’s school rests on a hill in the middle of a narrow, yet busy road.

As I drove to the school guard, a young lady walked by.

“Hello, may I know if you have a child to pick up?”

“Hi, I’m actually here to ask about a boy, I’m his tuition teacher. I know it sounds odd, but I’m concerned about his whereabouts as he usually keeps the tuition center updated about his activities and recently, we lost total contact from him and his family members. I’m checking to see if the school has any news about him.”

The young lady granted me access into the school compounds and brought me to her office. “Please have a seat. Actually Miss Farhana, something did happen to Mo and initially we tried to keep the event hushed down but now I guess it’s only respectful that the situation is brough to light. I will have a press conference later in the evening regarding the issue and speculation will be abound, but I hope that you will judge this fairly.”

#essay #writing

Where’s Mo – Part 2

She introduced herself as Ms. Alia, I listened tentatively to her recounts.

***

“OK class, now you know that it is very important for you to know what is going on with the outside world okay? This will help you to be a good citizen and a good human being. OK Mo, do you have anything to say? If you don’t then please stop trying to balance erasers on your nose.”

Mo tossed the eraser at Miss Alia, stood up from his seat at the back of the classroom and shouted.

“Cikgu, are you sure knowing about the Middle East war does any good to us and makes us better humans? What is the meaning of a good human?”

“Mo, there are rules in this class, you are free to ask questions politely and behave in appropriate manner.”

“No cikgu, you don’t know what is it to be a human being. All my life, I see my mother suffer from people’s bad mouth because she has a defect while my father always going to save people in international wars. Why is my mother treated worse than the immigrants in our society? Why can orang asing have freedom to be a Malaysian? Why is my mother less than a Malaysian? Is it because of her name? is it because she is mixed-blood? Why should she choose to be one race and not the other? Why are we born with a religion but cannot find our own spirituality? Why is my father always going to end the war in Arab but never trying to stay at home and give us peace? Everyday I see my neighbours live with uncertainty wondering if the people who mingle around national facilities are local. Hari-hari orang tuduh-menuduh siapa pendatang, siapa bukan pendatang, otherwise, everyone keeps upholding religion and shouting support to end Islamophobia but never realise that they are the ones who started it first. Nobody has the guts to make society right because they can only make society wrong.”

“Now Mo, if you need help…”

“I don’t need anything from you. I can make my own decisions. I’m a teenager I know what’s best…”

“No Mo, you are still in school and school is a place for you to learn to obey so sit down now and don’t waste your friends time.”

“Everyone is wasting everyone’s time! Why do you call yourself cikgu when you don’t even try to read between the lines of my words? Cikgu ni layak jadi guru sebab pandai mengarah pelajar je ke? Degree cikgu tu dapat sebab pandai bercakap, bukannya boleh pikir. I don’t have a mother and a father anymore and its all your fault, as a civil servant you should pay the consequences of society’s downfall.

My father only filled with passion to help people affected in the Middle East war is dead. He was not supposed to go there, he is supposed to treat patients in our local community, now my neighbourhood has lost a doctor but my mother lost her support… she was not accepted anywhere in the community just because she doesn’t look like either races. Her singular name is the cause of her death and it is all because she wanted to leave the community she was chosen to be by birth.”

#essay #writing

Where's Mo? - Final

Ms. Alia shed a tear realizing that she never tried to be a more empathetic person.

“All that I know after Mo left the class is that he was found dead in a factory and the murderers were a group aiming young children to sell their organs in the black market. The immigrant officers deported the group and yet I still feel that its not fair for Mo as the perpetrators remained free to roam. Perhaps, it’s a tremendous lesson for me to bear this guilt.”

“Who are we to meddle in other people’s affairs when we don’t even know who is our friend and who is our foe? No matter how far we look, we shall always bear the greatest sin of all sins, that is to be a defect which caused our society to fall apart.”

#essay #writing

The Majestic Lion

 - Farhana (June 15th, 2019)

The majestic lion stood on all fours,

It’s long mane blowing in the wind;

It’s eyes of brown hiding within a brutal force,

It stood still, then it turned it’s head around.

Each step the lion took,

Showcases the stunning majesty of its grace;

Each time the lion turned around to look,

The crowd applauds with vigour.

Walking about without a care,

The lion laid on the lush green carpet;

Rolling on its stomach, showing it bare,

Yawning at excited visitors.

The crowd was flabbergasted,

They are in awe;

The lion’s teeth so sharp and fastened,

All the more they look and stare.

The Majesty, of a person,

Is just like the lion;

He struts about proudly in his prison,

All while the crowd stood and ridicule.